It's been a while, I hadn't even had the chance to say Happy New Year, so HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Let me reflect..

God has truly has given me a lot to deal with, for whatever His plan may be, every obstacle has made me that much stronger. Oh God, you've really gotten me in crazy situations. But to be thankful for everything (literally EVERYTHING) to be where I am today. Although, things have be tough lately from all directions I have to stay positive. Last year was a very scary year, it was that year that ended an old life and began a new.

2009 was the year when my a strength in me came out. I was young and smitten...and very oblivious, but things changed, luckily. But I know, I need a greater strength to forgive? Maybe that's it. I really don't know.

Why I'm bringing this up now? I was surprised with an old face I saw at mass. Memories I wanted to forget flashed in my mind, and it didn't help that my mother was asking about him the rest of the night. Yes, my mother, the one who never approved of me and a boy in the same sentence. She told me to forgive, but I can't, she doesn't know how I felt, what I went though, the tears I shed for this guy, the guy who scared me with his own life. I will let your mind assume, and wander because I'm telling you, it really did get that bad. I lost pretty much my friends and family bonds, everything that was important to me. But I know, a man is to never do what he did to me to any woman. I lost my life, a life that I was to comfortable with for the wrong reasons (but obviously, I didn't know any better).

They say I should forgive him, but others say I hurt him so much, the thing is, no body really knows what happened (except a selected few). But during that time, I learned to think for myself, and listen to what my heart said, no one can tell me what to do. I guess it was a surprise for everyone when I actually made a decision on my own.

And just because I'm thinking about this stuff, doesn't mean I miss it, but just reflecting on all the things I went through to get where I am now. To feel blessed that I actually made the initiative in life to move on. I made those first steps on my own, without a doubt there has been many mistakes on the way. Although, right at this moment, I feel like everything seems to be falling apart, I know overall, I'm happy, I am able to find happiness on my own. I have that kind of strength in me to make that happen for myself...not now, but eventually.

God always blesses. Those who are weak in spirit, poor, and suffering. God tells us to always trust in Him. For it is all in His hands. All hardships we go through, come something that make it worth while. For that year of hurt and suffering, I was blessed with family who couldn't get any closer, and the second chance to love, sooner than I'd ever thought, but they always reminded me that you can't help who you love. And that is so true with this special man. Although I don't like to feel like I'm falling to deep, sometimes he makes it okay too.

But anyways,

Enough of the reflection, it's Family Day, and going to have dinner at Swiss Chalet, it's going to be yummy. Just keep telling yourself that there's no need to shed those tears. And throw a movie in and enjoy. Which I did for my entire Valentine's night, that ended at 6:30 am this morning. :) A movie marathon well spent.

Have a wonderful Family Day. Always spread the love with your smile :) When in doubt, remember, God is always there.